discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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