After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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