some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
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