hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
