I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Randomize
