i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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