there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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