im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
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