Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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