do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
it was like eating out sand paper
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
