Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I'm having to shit out rocks
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