Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize