I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize