Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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