An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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