stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
