I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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