what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
