I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
