I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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