Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Randomize
