hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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