it wasn't lemon gatorade
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize