thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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