On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
