people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
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