The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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