Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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