listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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