people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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