I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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