just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
