Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
