It's like God shit irony all over that family
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
