And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
