I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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