wrigley field is MILF paradise
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Randomize
