I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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