hotel room ftw
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
