If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
