My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize