Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
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