And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
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