how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
