is your mom at the bar?
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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