My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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