I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
