Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
The feeling are messing with the penis
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
