my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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