Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
