i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
