What a fucking waste of an outfit
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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