mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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