I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
