you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize