i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
