i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
