just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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