Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
NoShamevember. You game?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Randomize