She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
