You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
