Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
