we're blogging at a bar
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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