if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
