why didn't you poke me back
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
