she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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