im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
