i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
