I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
