is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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