my mouth tastes like poor choices
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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