why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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