They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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